My Favourite Piece from a Musical: Have a little Priest

My Favourite Piece from a Musical: Not sure what is says about me though! :D


Sweeny Todd - Have a Little Priest

MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...

TODD: Shame?

LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!

No?

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD: OH!

LOVETT:
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

[Simultaneously]

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

LOVETT:
It's an idea...

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!
How Rare!

[Solo]

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?

LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!

TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?

TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!

LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.

TODD:
Is it really good?

LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

TODD:
Awful lot of fat.

LOVETT:
Only where it sat.

TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
But then again, not as bland as curate, either!

LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

(sung) Lawyer's rather nice.

TODD:
If it's for a price.

LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!

TODD:
Anything that's lean.

LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?

LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!

TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!

LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --

LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!

TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!

LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!

TODD:
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!

LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?

(sung) Lovely bit of clerk.

TODD:
Maybe for a lark.

LOVETT:
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!

TODD:
That looks pretty rank.

LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.

TODD:
Have you any Beadle?

LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told!
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased...
Stick to priest!

(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
But then of course it's... fiddle player!

TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!
LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD:
(sung) The history of the world, my sweet --

LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?

TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!

LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!

TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear

BOTH:
That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.

TODD: (sung) What is that?

LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!

TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!

LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!

TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

LOVETT:
Then actor,
That's compacter!

TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
But we've got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What's that?
LOVETT: Executioner!

TODD:
(sung) Have charity towards the world, my pet!

LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!

TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!

LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!

TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,

BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

London and Chicargo.

The first a city, the second a musical!

I went up to London on Friday and spent the evening playing Agricola with Richard, Hillary and Helen. It was nice to say hi but we were all pretty pooped. Afterward I actually had a bit of a mini crisis; I couldn't for the life of me remember why I was in the UK and it was all rather overwhelming.

But then Saturday was a beautiful day and reminded me why I like this side of the earth so much.

I started the day by shopping around Camden Markets for stripy over-the-knee socks; an item of clothing I have found it difficult to purchase elsewhere. Oh, you can get over-the-knee socks, but not the incredibly dazzling ones you find in Camden. I got eight pairs :D.

Then I proceeded to have a lovely cuppa at my favourite tea-house (also in Camden Markets - in the Camden Lock Market out the back if you're looking) called YumChaa. This is a place where they have smelling pots of every tea variety they sell out on display so you can choose what you want to drink that day by sniffing it! Heaven! They also sell chocolate brownies that are to die for.

Jason joined me for brunch at Foggs. Of around-the-world-in-80-day's fame. Need I say more?

Then we went off to do tourist stuff - and decided to see and to climb St Paul's Cathedral. I hadn't been inside St Paul's before, it was under wraps the last time I was in London, but it is indeed beautiful. I couldn't take photos inside but the detail was literally awe inspiring - the point I guess. It was built by Christopher Wren after the London fires 300 years ago. 528 steps later you get an absolutely awe-inspiring biew of London too. Hoooowee!


Atferward, the requirement for energy and a place to rest my dead knee led us to a Paul's. Jason will stand testament that I drank the whole of a large hot chocolate in no time flat and the rhubarb flan was as incredible as I remembered... yaum!

We met up with Belinda Knott (incredibly, she stepped off the bus right in front of us whilst Jason was talking to her describing where we were - coincidence incomparable!), and went for a beer, found with difficulty due to the number of closed pubs. I couldn't tell you the name of the bar though, as I gulped my (very tasty) beer in order to get changed so that I could rush off to meet up with Helen and Hilary... who were late.

But I got a few good pictures of the Cambridge Theatre at the Seven Dials (a roundabout with a statue on it with seven dials and seven streets leading away from it). We were there to see the musical Chicargo, and after a hurried dinner at some italian restaurant which looked remarkably like a wagamamma inside, we did so.

It was magical! I am squirming right now as I type due to the exquisite enjoyment I derived from those incredible dancers and singers. The reason we went was to see Ruthie Henshall - a legend of the theatre, and she was absolutely fabulous as Roxy Hart. Not quite as young and naive as perhaps the role required, but her acting was truly superb. And the men.... ooooooh the men! Their hips! They could DANCE!

Wow.

And we topped the evening with cocktails at a hotel bar across from the theatre. I had a cosmopolitan, which was really delicious. Must remember to have that again some time.

So, yeah. A great day. And a good trip. All I need now is a job.

Scrooge!

I saw the musical Scrooge at the Theatre Royal in Plymouth. It starred Tommy Steel, who at age 73 doesn't look a day over 50 and is still as spry as a 50 year old.

It was a very professional production. Steel is a master at comic timing and so comfortable in his milieu.

The stage was awesome, the characters appeared and disappeared magically and damn fast too! and there were lots of flying sets changing the look and feel instantly.

The dancing was excellent. It was mesmerizing watching the cast, one guy in particular who's name I can't find but who's body was like rubber and just did what he wanted when he wanted it done perfectly.

I didn't actually make the connection to the Albert Finney film of the same name until afterwards, but the music was very familiar in places and I could sing along so the memory was still there.

It was a delightful Christmas romp and I enjoyed it immensely.

Tori Amos and Hairspray... huh?

I went up to London on the weekend of the 11-13 of September to see two very different shows: Tori Amos in concert and Hairspray at the Shaftsbury theatre.

Firstly, Tori Amos is an artist I have long enjoyed - ever since Helen introduced me to her when we were about 18 I think! She is entirely mad though - her lyrics will show you that if her pronunciation of same does not. She has been touted as the inspiration for Neil Gaiman's Delirium, and I can well believe it.

I went with Jason, who, upon my demand for 'Steak!' took me to a lovely adult pub in the wilds of London called the Andover Arms, a cracking good place with a lovely atmosphere and very helpful staff (I will admit to at first miss-reading the name and thinking 'why on earth would anyone call a pub the handover?!?' but decided not to mention this to J who already has an evil sense of humour regarding my use of the English language!). After steak was had (I always get a rush of energy from red meat, sorely needed after the three and a half hour train ride from Plymouth!), Jason expounded his theory on pub goodness, which goes somewhere along the lines of "The excellence of a public house is inversely related to it's distance from the nearest source of mass transportation; the further away it is from said hub, the better it will be." which I think is very true.

Anyway, Tori was to be found at the Apollo Stadium. She played a good mix of her old and new pieces. I didn't recognise a couple of tunes, but the rest were well known and I enjoyed the way she re-interpreted her own songs. The concert started a little slow, but after a solo stint (including Mr. Zebra!) the energy picked up and by the end, the stage had a swarm of fans squished between the stage and first row of seats trying to get close to her. 'Precious Things' and 'Little Amsterdam' were highlights for me as well as the staple 'Cornflake Girl' which she absolutely rocked. I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

Hairspray on the other hand was a completely different kettle of fish if I can mix my metaphors. Hillary and I went for a girls night out, and excluding the overwhelming heat of the theatre and the phenomenal line for the ladies, it was a really enjoyable night.

In fact, I haven't laughed so much in a musical since I saw 'The Producers' - I was crying from laughter at one point! The parents of the protagonist, Tracy, sing a love duet called 'Timeless to Me'. Tracy's mother, Edna, is played by a man, so the set-up is already ripe for many sniggers. However the father on our night was played by the understudy, Nigel Planer being absent for whatever reason, and this guy either flubbed a line, or exaggerated a gesture, and caused the both of them to spend most of the number trying not to laugh, and for some reason there is absolutely nothing funnier than an actor in a funny situation snorting to suppress laughter. I had stitches!

The storyline to the show is slightly different to the movie version too, all to the good in my opinion. Two new musical numbers made the show fresh for me, and the energy of the dancers was incredible - I was tired just watching them! I won't tell you the story here - you'll just have to find out for yourselves!

All in all, it was a very enjoyable, if very exhausting, weekend away.

A Little Night Music

I really liked this production. I went with Hannah, Paul and Jason. Desiree was absolutely fabulous. I love Sondheim, and ALNM is my second favourite next to Into the Woods. God, the tunes!!! I enjoyed it immensely. The sets were good, I loved how the swingers were part of the set moving and always interesting, and the costumes were fabulous.

This is the first time I’ve seen it live too. I’ve seen the film version and I know the music so well I didn’t think there would be much surprise in it for me, but it still managed to catch me. I had no idea the maid and major domo had a fling for one thing – which is why “And I Shall Marry…” is included. I always wondered where that came from. And I didn’t know that the old lady dies in the end either. Hannah cried.

The only thing I didn’t like was the Brigadier. He came off as silly and nonthreatening and unworthy, rather than the rather stupid but physically impressive and therefore actual potential rival for Desiree shown in the movie and in the music I’ve heard.

The countess was brilliant though, and so was the new wife and Frederick was great, so, yes, a fabulous production.

Mary Poppins the Musical

Saw Mary Poppins the musical at the Prince Edward Theatre last night. It was lovely. I was perhaps a little too close to the stage (I was only four rows from the front) but it was fun and an enjoyable evening out. The set design was amazing, it all fitted together rather like Lego and flew in and out with precision. The costumes were lovely, and the singers were great – especially Mary. It’s not quite as good as the Mary Poppins movie I don’t think. Julie Andrews would be a hard act to follow in any case, but I also saw the replacement cast, not the original London cast, as it has been running for quite a while and is due to close in January next year. It was still very enjoyable.

Also learned something interesting from the program; P L Travers, who wrote the books, was Australian!

I’m actually wondering if the fact that I can see so many productions, pretty much on demand, has cheapened their value in my eyes. That, because I don’t have to wait for one to come to town, and purchase the ticket and plan for the night months in advance, and have that anticipation of a special evening out to look forward to, I no longer value the show as I might once have done? I’m finding myself more of a critic here than I ever was back home, and I’m sure that the quality of the productions is as good if not better than any I saw in Australia. Interesting thought.

Mind you, although the production didn’t completely overwhelm me, I’ve had the music stuck in my head ever since. So it did actually have an impact, one that I’m hoping will go away soon! :-)

From culture to vulgar in one afternoon...

Two things were accomplished by me yesterday at polar opposites of what might be termed the socially appropriate scale of life. I visited the National Portrait Gallery and was awed at the many wonderful paintings of fascinating people there... and then went to see the musical Avenue Q at the Noel Coward theatre and was awed by just how lewd puppets can be. It was fun.

At the Gallery, I liked the Victorian era portraits best. They were so real, so lifelike. You could believe that here were actual people who lived centuries ago. The Tudor portraits were also enlightening - they had such amazing clothing! The museum was put together really well. I felt like I was walking through history. The blurbs they have on each of the people in the portraits are really informative and the themes that bind them together were well crafted. It was truly fascinating and I was very impressed. Especially by the portraits of people like Charles Dickens and the Bronte sisters.

And I loved the musical too - it was surprisingly real itself - with such songs as 'Everyone's a little bit racist' and 'The Internet is for Porn' it was saying things I'm sure many people have thought but never said. Very refreshing. Although, if you are thinking of seeing it - a word of warning: there is puppet sex and lots of it.

I ticked off another thing on my 'To Do' list of London too, by buying the tickets from the TKTS stand in Leicester square - they were good seats too! Being able to buy good tickets for a show the day of the performance... I love this city!! Oh, and I had the most divine dining experience at The Spaghetti House. Well, not really a dining experience, more of a gastronomical experience - a real Italian Lasagna drenched - and I do mean drenched - it was swimming! in Bechamel sauce. I'm telling you it tasted truly heavenly! I'm sure I put on weight just by looking at it, but some things just have to be sacrificed for true art!

So from very high art to the very low ... it was an educational day! :)