My Favourite Piece from a Musical: Have a little Priest

My Favourite Piece from a Musical: Not sure what is says about me though! :D


Sweeny Todd - Have a Little Priest

MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...

TODD: Shame?

LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!

No?

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD: OH!

LOVETT:
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

[Simultaneously]

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

LOVETT:
It's an idea...

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!
How Rare!

[Solo]

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?

LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!

TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?

TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!

LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.

TODD:
Is it really good?

LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

TODD:
Awful lot of fat.

LOVETT:
Only where it sat.

TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
But then again, not as bland as curate, either!

LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

(sung) Lawyer's rather nice.

TODD:
If it's for a price.

LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!

TODD:
Anything that's lean.

LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?

LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!

TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!

LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --

LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!

TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!

LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!

TODD:
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!

LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?

(sung) Lovely bit of clerk.

TODD:
Maybe for a lark.

LOVETT:
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!

TODD:
That looks pretty rank.

LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.

TODD:
Have you any Beadle?

LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told!
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased...
Stick to priest!

(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
But then of course it's... fiddle player!

TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!
LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD:
(sung) The history of the world, my sweet --

LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?

TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!

LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!

TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear

BOTH:
That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.

TODD: (sung) What is that?

LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!

TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!

LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!

TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

LOVETT:
Then actor,
That's compacter!

TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
But we've got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What's that?
LOVETT: Executioner!

TODD:
(sung) Have charity towards the world, my pet!

LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!

TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!

LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!

TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,

BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

Click on a Joe or a Yoe?

On the way to Powis castle t'other day, R & H put on a Play School album to entertain A with. Oh my gosh - I remembered so many of the songs! I knew the voices - I knew the singers names for heaven's sake! So many memories from childhood...

Anyway, one, a very Australian song which needs no introduction, was sung by the singers using a lyric I was unfamiliar with. To whit; 'Yeo' rather than 'Joe'. Yeo, it was explained by our singer, is an English dialect word for female sheep, so it does make sense. But it threw me a bit.

I investigated a little. Not only is the Yeo/Joe bit debated, it can be bare bellied, or blue bellied or even a Ewe! And other lines of the piece also get chopped around.

Well, there is no known author, so changes to the words can't really be contradicted, but still, strange to find so many differences in a song I thought I knew backwards.

I learned stuff though. As an Aussie, you'd think I would have some idea of the meaning of the words of a song I sang regularly. But I had no idea that a snagger was a shearer who rushed his job and therefore left tufts, or snags, of wool behind. In actual fact, I always thought the word was swagger! :D You learn a new thing every day. See this good website for explanations of the first four verses or so.

Anyway, here are the lyrics with some of the additions that I found. Interesting.


Click Goes the Shears

Out on the board the old shearer stands
Grasping his shears in his long bony hands
Fixed is his gaze on a bare-bellied "joe"
Glory if he gets her, won't he make the ringer go

Chorus
Click go the shears boys, click, click, click
Wide is his blow and his hands move quick
The ringer looks around and is beaten by a blow
And curses the old snagger with the blue-bellied "joe" (a.k.a. bare-bellied Yeo)

In the middle of the floor in his cane-bottomed chair
Is the boss of the board, with eyes everywhere
Notes well each fleece as it comes to the screen
Paying strict attention if it's taken off clean

The colonial-experience man he is there, of course
With his shiny leggin's just got off his horse
Casting round his eye like a real connoisseur
Scented soap and brilliantine, and smelling like a whore (or smelling like a sewer, or a.k.a. Whistling the old tune "I'm the Perfect Lure")

The tar-boy is there awaiting in demand
With his blackened tar-pot and his tarry hand
Sees one old sheep with a cut upon its back
Here's what he's waiting for "Tar here Jack!"

Shearing is all over and we've all got our cheques
Roll up your swag for we're off on the tracks
The first pub we come to it's there we'll have a spree
And everyone that comes along it's, "Come and drink with me!"

Down by the bar the old shearer stands
Grasping his glass in his thin bony hands
Fixed is his gaze on a green-painted keg
Glory he'll get down on it ere he stirs a peg

There we leave him standing, shouting for all hands
Whilst all around him every shouter stands
His eyes are on the cask which is now lowering fast
He works hard he drinks hard and goes to hell at last

You take off the belly-wool clean out the crutch
Go up the neck for the rules they are such
You clean round the horns first shoulder go down
One blow up the back and you then turn around

Click, click, that's how the shears go
Click, click, so awfully quick
You pull out a sheep he'll give a kick
And still hear your shears going click, click, click

A moment of levity...

Yes I know I haven't blogged for ages, but I've been busy. I'll get back to it soon.

In the meanwhile...

Huma's Hymn

Oh mighty Arkleseizure, thou gazed from high above.
And sneezed from out thy nostrils, a gift of bounteous love.
The universe around us emerged from thy nose.
Now we await with eager expectation, thy handkerchief, to bring us back to thee.

From The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy soundtrack, by Joby Talbot.

Inchworm.

To try to make myself feel better (see last post!) I've just been watching one of my favourite programs, The Muppet Show, and I came across this gem. It has to be one of my most beloved pieces from the show.


Inchworm

(Chorus)
Two and two are four
Four and four are eight
Eight and eight are sixteen
Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two

Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
You and your arithmatic
You'll probably go far

Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
Seems to me you'd stop and see
How beautiful they are


The lyrics don't do it justice though. Such a simple song and yet it gives me shivers every time I hear it:

Here, watch the Muppet Danny Kay version in all it's glory: